can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
