I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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