So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
