My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
