You just made me feel so damn special
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
