Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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