I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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