You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize