yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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