we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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