I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
