When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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