I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
