he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
