i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
