He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
