I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
