he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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