my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
