**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
