I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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