So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
