I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
