Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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