Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
