Im at strip club and am horny
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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