I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
