a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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