bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
