Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
