The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
