I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
