3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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