I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
