u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
