Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
