absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently you make a good broom.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
