She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
