dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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