Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
