you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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