Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
