Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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