i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
