My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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