4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize