ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
