She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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