So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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