I accidentally burped into my bong.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize