whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
