I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
