haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
