I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
