So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
