i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
how drunk are you?
Several
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
