Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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