You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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