HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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