I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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