so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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