nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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