Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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