I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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