Im at strip club and am horny
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
