I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
