yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
