Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
