Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
