so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
