you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Rumble strips road head = magical
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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