i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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