just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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