I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
