He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
