yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
