nut hugger
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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